Hurry Up and Calm Down

One man's attempt to keep himself sane by entertaining himself and others with his skewed view of all things.

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Jet Blue Flight Attendant

Can someone please tell me why people are wetting their pants over this guy and why he's constantly being called a "folk hero". So he flipped out and did something a lot of people wish they had the balls to do. It's still inappropriate and was probably dangerous. Why should this guy be getting praise?
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Kathie Lee & Hoda Make Me Sick

Who watches these two Yentas? Two self-absorbed old broads. I feel ashamed putting this here but for those of you who have not seen them, this is a good sample of what I've seen. I'll put on the Today show for a bit at work and this comes on after it. By then I'm busy and the TV is just on the background and I'll catch a minute or two and my blood starts to boil. I feel bad for the guy in the video. He's totally right. The second video is him trying to apologize because hey, it's air time and business and they start making fun of him and the gesture. Of course the expert wants air time and has to play nice or I think she'd have told them off too.

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Rescue ME - Worst Season Yet!

I have watched every episode of Rescue Me this season in the hopes that it would pick up. Not happening. This is the worst written season and I didn't think it could get worse. Went from not liking it to pretty much hating it. Anyone enjoying it?
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Why see a movie you know will suck?

I was having a conversation with a friend about Inception. I had just seen it this weekend and he has yet to see it but was asking me about it. Then...

Scott:  i also want to see the predator movie, i know it won't be all that good but it's a predator movie.
me:  why don't you give me the money and I'll put on a better show with sock puppets?
Scott:  hhahahaha.

Then a discussion about movies and their audiences ensued. I stated that most anyone I hear talking about the Alien versus Predator movies just happens to be black. I felt the need to qualify that statement with "It's not racism. It's called a demographic."
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WTF: Latisse and Friendly's Burger Melt?

Two TV commercials that have me cringing as of late are for Latisse and Friendly's Burger Melt. Lastisse is a product that women can apply to their eyelids to grow "longer, fuller, darker lashes" in a few months. Seriously? Are there women that are that self conscious of their eyebrows that they want to apply a chemical with the only advantage being the possiblity of "longer, fuller, darker lashes" and I'm sure countless potential and possibly undocumented side-effects? I'm sure the answer is yes. Some of you are probably saying that men us Rogaine for hair loss or a variety of other arguments. This is true. We live in a society that puts emphasis on vanity but ... eyelashes?!?  Come on!

I decided to look up potential side effects and what I found was pretty much what I expected. The product is (or is based on) a drug for treating glaucoma. The eyelashes growing was a side effect of the original intended purpose. In addition to that, the growth is not permanent much like men's hair growth products. You have to keep using it and once you stop, it's all gone.

So why am I talking about feminine make up products/enhancers you ask. This shit just bothers me. Why do people need to such stupid potentially harmful things for little gain. Depressing is what it is. I keep thinking back to the video I posted last week (see below) of the Asian girls getting a make over. I don't think I'm a terribly superficial person but if I met or knew anyone who used these techniques, enhancers or what have you from the butt lifters, body shapers/full body girdles, or colored contacts with massive amounts of makeup and I knew them this way and then I saw them without all that crap, I'd be put off and possible scared.

I wish as a society we'd fix the real problems. Focus on the health related problems, diet and exercise, and what really matters and stop trying to cover up what you think is wrong with you and masking the real problems whether it's physical or mental.

Does the Friendly's Burger Melt commercial make anyone else want to work out?  I look at it and I get slightly ill and feel disgusting. I'm trying to think of a good example but have you ever witnessed something so unspeakable that you just feel dirty and all you can think about is showering as soon as you get home? It's like that but instead of feeling dirty and needing a shower, I feel fat for having seen it and need to work out. Some foods should just come with a hospital room reservation.

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Shutter Island

Shutter-island-11

Just finished it. A coworker and I got maybe 30 minutes in and predicted most all of it. It's another twist that has been done and you see coming a mile away. That wouldn't bother me so much if the movie had been a bit better. The entire movie was plagued with continuity issues that drove me nuts. Matches that burned forever and lit up and entire room to a band-aid that stays on despite rain, sweat, oh.... and why was it there? It's even on this damn poster.

Entertaining because I was bored. It's not a terrible movie but far from great. It just was. Watch it if you can't find cinema gold to watch.

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NYC Subway Tweets

NYCTSubwayScoop "Left something on the train? Think it's lost forever? Maybe not. File a claim with Lost & Found. http://bit.ly/9ynfkk"

No, it's definitely lost. The hours I've spent waiting for the train and sitting on the train while it doesn't move. I'd love to get those back but they are gone.

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Canadian Holiday

Roman Canadian Holiday

 

I woke up somehow knowing it was a holiday in Canada. Don't know why. I don't have any calendars around. I just assumed it was Art Linkletter Day and all Canadian businesses are closed. Turns out it's Bastille Day. Now I know Rush is very famous Canadian band but to name a holiday after the first song from Rush's third album Caress of Steel just seems a bit absurd.

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When cars collide...

...it's a neighborhood event. I'm not going to go on a comical rant about car accidents because it's been done to death HOWEVER...

I do work on a street where there are many accidents due largely to the poorly configured traffic light situation. There is an extra traffic light beyond the actual traffic light and it faces a street that already has a traffic light. I've been guilty of focusing beyond the actual light, which also happens to be quite a large distance from the bold white line where you are supposed to stop. It's quite normal to hear cars screeching to halt as someone goes "oh, I'm supposed to stop here" or "Oh shit, a light!".

Well this poor young girl just got her trunk obliterated by a guy in a truck and frankly it could be anyone's fault but this guy will probably get the bill. Poor bastard. It seems car accidents are the only time everyone on this street comes out of their quiet little stores and socializes. Some of these people aren't even friendly to begin with but "oh look, a car accident! Hey Bob. How are you? Did you see this mess? How do you think it happened? Oh business is bad huh?" Even had a salesman for Cablevision come up and try to sell me service while everyone was focusing on the mess in the street. What a douche!

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Holy Shit it's Garry Shandling!

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I just recently found myself enjoying The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson. It's actually quite funny unlike many of the other late night shows (Conan, Letterman, and ugh dare I even mention Fallon and Carson Daily who both need to die already. Oops! Too dark?). As it turns out, I have a genetic defect that will not allow me to turn on the TV on any sort of schedule which means I resort to downloading much of what I watch.

So I recently downloaded and watched several episodes of The Late Late Show. When I got to the episode with Garry Shandling I nearly lost my dinner. Did this guy OD on Botox?? His face does not move at all. Not only that but he looks like he's Bolo Yeung's brother. Am I wrong here?

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