One man's attempt to keep himself sane by entertaining himself and others with his skewed view of all things.
You'd think I'd know by now... Every time my boss calls the office he'll clear his throat right in to the phone AFTER I say "hello". How about taking care of that as you dial and saving me from further hearing damage. Thanks fella.
So my boss interupts AGAIN to tell me that at some point on some day I should move these few boxes that contain old laser printer toner cartridges. He wants to have someone transport them to his house so he can store them because while they've been there for 6-8 months all of a sudden they are unsightly. *sigh* So I explain that they are old, used cartridges and they need to be recycled. His reply, "re.... HOLY FUCK. He's back. We'll go back to this interruption in a second. So I explain they are old and used and need to be recycled to which he replies "recycled? why do I want to recycle?" -- We work for a company that is "green". That's why. That is what I said to him as my coworkers just laughed.
Okay, so now the most recent interruption... He's asked me to organize this giant stack of papers in to a book and make multiple copies. Upon making collating, copying, printing, hole punching, and putting together these books he makes some corrections. So back to square one. I do it all again and he just found some pages "in some other stuff" meaning his pile of shit that I should include. Ummm okay. I throwing it out. He'll never know. Fuck! It's only 3:30?
UPDATE: He wantes to make it up to the woman he called 'fat' by taking her to dinner. WTF?!? That doesn't even make any sense. My coworker had to practically tackle him and say 'don't you dare! Say NOTHING!'
Of all days to leave my tape recorder at home. My boss is on a tear about how everyone is an idiot and no one listens and no one does anything from start to finish. This is a man who hands off everything and has never seen anything but the start and finish because he gets people to do the work for him. He'll call someone multiple times in the span of an hour changing plans to something he has no concept off. So when the people are throwing their hands up on revision number 5 (when #1 was correct) or not returning his calls promptly because they are out drinking on their lunch hour he goes in to "what is wrong with everybody!" rant.
He's a one way, all talk and no listen machine and no matter how many times he's spouted out inaccuracies and completely wrong information when it comes down to the correct solution somehow that is what he said days ago before the problem even existed. FUCKITY FUCK FUCK!
I'm in my office answering the phone every 1-2 minutes while composing a letter and rerouting a shipment with a trucking company. My boss as he does, enters the room halfway through a sentence and touches everything on my desk. I'm clearly focused elsewhere as I'm doing several things. What does he not get? Oh that's right, in his little head the world revolves around him.
He eats a lot of vegetables (namely broccolli) and lentil soup so he's a walking fart machine. When he farts it's that loud wet sounding fart where you're inclined to say "oh my god! are you okay?!?" because it sounds life-threatening. Did you just crap out a vital organ or...? Thankfully he's pretty good at containing it while standing and only lets loose while walking up and down the hall (to and from my office). At this point it's like punctuation. It's scary how used I am to that violent noise. A coworker of mine looks at me this afternoon and says "you know, I think he's just very negative about everything." It's almost comical that she's just now noticing this when everything that spews from his mouth is NEGATIVE. Some Frank-isms:
